Staff Training

How often do you use assertiveness techniques to make sure your boundaries aren’t being crossed?

Below are five assertiveness techniques anyone can use in the pursuit of more effective and clear communication, setting boundaries and learning to say ‘no’:

1. Good eye contact

Being able to maintain good eye contact is important when trying to be assertive. Good eye contact communicates attention and respect, while a lack of eye contact displays nervousness and disinterest in what the other person is saying.

It is also worth noting that too much eye contact can appear confrontational and aggressive.

2. Maintaining your personal space

Not letting people encroach on your personal space and make you feel uncomfortable is another important part of being assertive. By having the confidence to enforce your boundaries, either verbally or otherwise, you set the precedent for a mutually respectful relationship.

3. Asking people for feedback

Asking for feedback from the people you are talking to is a great way of ensuring that what you meant is what was understood. Simply asking, “Does this make sense to you?” or “How do you feel about that?” shows the listener that you are taking an interest in their thoughts and shows that your request or suggestion is not a demand, and also affirms that you have been clearly understood.

4. Good posture

Your posture when being assertive should always be up right (but not up tight) and open. Crossed arms and legs indicate nervousness, while an open posture displays receptiveness.

5. Tone of voice

It is important to maintain a steady, well-paced tone of voice when being assertive. Many of us have the tendency to speak too quickly when we are nervous, or aggressively when we feel threatened etc., but for our assertive communication to be effective it needs to be delivered in a controlled way.

This means speaking slowly, clearly and in an easily understandable way.

Find out more about assertiveness training by clicking here.

Although in recent years more women have been steadily entering the workforce, there are still inequalities and prejudices present in the workplace that sometimes require an assertive approach.

Typically assertiveness comes more naturally to men. The reason for this is probably because outside of the business world (up until recently, at least) the man has been expected by society to play the more dominant role.

In business, however, gender is not a factor. Men and women are ranked according to business status, not because of their sex.

Learning to become more assertive in the workplace is therefore an important part of operating in the business world, even if it doesn’t come naturally at first.

The reason it is so important for women to become more assertive, however, is not just so she can have her voice heard as loudly as any man’s, but also so she is not disadvantaged in any way either.

For example, many companies reward assertive employees from within. This may come in the form of special projects, bonuses or promotions.

Assertiveness is also a key quality found in leaders, and will be one of the qualities looked for in an up and coming leader.

Assertive employees also experience less stress than their less assertive counterparts and tend to be more efficient and productive.

Find out why assertiveness should be your next workshop by clicking here.

Staff Training presents Assertiveness Training nationwide. Contact info@StaffTraining.co.za for more information.

“I don’t really have time to help but if I say no people might get upset and stop liking me, so maybe I’ll just catch up on my extra work at home tonight.”

“I’m sorry Emma I can’t edit your report, I’m really busy, but I promise I’ll do the next two reports for you to make up for it.”

“I have to help; saying no would be rude and besides, I might want help from them sometime in the future.”

“People will see me differently if I stop being helpful.”

Any of these statements sound familiar?

Unassertiveness can manifest in many different ways, as you can see above, and the excuses we come up with to justify our actions are just as varied.

What one needs to understand about assertiveness is that it’s not about changing who you are as a person, or about being any less helpful, but rather about knowing what you want and need and being confident enough to have your voice heard.

Assertive behaviour is being able to ask for what you need from others and being able to say no when you are unable to help. It is being able to communicate without being aggressive or bossy, even when our rights are being infringed upon.

How assertive or unassertive are you? Check out our assertive vs. aggression checklist here.

Staff Training presents Assertiveness Training nationwide. Find out more here.